If you have lost a child there are several books that you can buy that can help you navigate the grieving process. Losing a child is one of the most difficult experiences that any human being will ever face so you need all the support you can get in order to not be overwhelmed by the pain.
One good book is “Don’ t Take My Grief Away” by Doug Manning. This understanding author talks about how letting go of grief, anger and resentment makes us feel like we are letting go of the child. This book also reinforces the idea that we all need to recover from these experiences in our own time and that they cannot be forced.
If you feel that you are somehow responsible for the child’s death as would be the case if there was some kind of home accident then you need a book that tells you how to deal with grief that is mixed with guilt. A good self help book for this matter is “Forgiving God” by Carla Killough McClafferty. This is by a woman who has been there and it is extremely cathartic and comforting for those who need an emotional release.
Another great book is “Gone But Not Lost” by David W. Weirsbe. This book teaches you to be patient with your spouse. Many marriages split up after the death of a child and it is just not necessary if the two of you can understand that you may be grieving for the loss in different ways and at different rates.
A similar book is called “Five Cries of Grief” by Merton P. Strommen. It is the journal of both a father and a mother writing about the loss of their son. It reveals the difference between how men and women deal with loss psychologically.
Another sweet and comforting book on the topic is “Roses In Heaven.” This is by a mother who has lost three children named Marilyn Willett Heavilin. Whether your child was an infant, a stillborn, or an adult at the time of death, this book will help you manage with your loss. Roses in December investigate your emotions and assist the reader in dealing with anger, sadness, depression, and other aspects of grief. This is a must read book for anyone who has ever lost a child, or knows someone who has.
These are also good books to give anyone who has lost a child and who you perceive is having a very hard time. It is better than giving them a pep talk as most bereaved parents feel hurt because it seems that you do not understand their sadness. Giving the person a blank journal into which to write down their thoughts is also a very good idea. In fact writing in journal every day is what most of the authors mentioned in this blog suggest as an outlet for expressing grief.
Sometimes you end up trying to help a kid that is going through a very troubled time in their life because of a divorce or a death. It could be your own child or the neighbour’s child but you still want to help. However sometimes you feel completely helpless because it is hard to communicate with the upset child or see the world through his or her eyes. Thankfully there are some books out there on the market that can assist you with this type of situation.
A common situation is the one where you end up being the stepmother to a new kid through marriage either because of a death or divorce. There is a really good book on this topic on the market. It is called “The Good Stepmother: A Practical Guide” and it by two women who have been there. The authors are Patricia Adams and Karen Savage. Every issue is discussed in this book including the ex spouse, children who act out their resentment and money issues. You are basically taught how to handle these situations so nobody is hurt, resentful or traumatized as a result of the big change. The chapters on how to handle the ex are also very important as you can save the children involved a lot of stress during the divorce and remarriage process if the two of you can learn how to get along.
Some kids really have a hard time adjusting to a divorce. A child can isolate and refuse to communicate to you. In this case you might want to purchase “What’s Going to Happen to Me? When Parents Separate or Divorce. This is a paperback by Eda LeShan that is directed to kids who are eight years of age or older and who are hurt and mystified by the divorce process. It is just a great all purpose book about the subject to give to any child as it explains what goes on and helps the child feel more emotionally secure.
If you have a depressed kid or one that just seems woefully ignorant of how to handle the issues that he or she might be facing. Heartbeats and Other Stories by Peter D. Sieruta is a classic book about a set of twins that go through all of the issues such as temptation to suicide, teen pregnancy and feeling picked on or lonely. Most kids identify with the two main characters which is reassuring and educational for them.
If you have a new baby you will love the funny and helpful book by Edward R. Christophersen Baby Owner’s Manual. The illustrations and photographs in this book are wonderful and will help ward off that case of post-partum depression after you have been up all night for months. It is always good to know that others have been through same stressful experiences that you have just after having a baby.
Have you ever wanted a cradle that also functions a swing? The “old fangled” swinging crib is back and several companies are manufacturing them. This stylish and very safe kind of baby bed is also called a Hushamok. That is because the Hushamok company makes the best of these types of suspension cradles. These types of cradles were originally very popular in the seventies and they haven’t been much in evidence until just recently. Perhaps this is because they are such large unwieldy objects. Buying one is practically like agreeing to have a huge metal sculpture in your house. As gorgeous as they are these Hushamok cribs are simply not that compact.
Basically this swinging freestanding crib consists of a canoe shaped hammock style bed that is suspended inside a large metal armature. The cradle itself is made of cotton or nylon. The suspended crib actually looks a bit like an extended papoose with a zipper. You can safely zip your baby into this crib just like you would a tent but the baby is not completely encapsulated by the tent’s fabric.
The Hushamok is not exactly a space saver. The actual stand that holds baby crib is huge and C shaped and you would need an entire corner of a room to set it up. My neighbor who had this crib actually had it set up in the very center of her room because it is so tall unwieldy and big. It is just a giant C shape that is connected to a T-shaped hangar on spring. The actual cradle hangs from the T by a huge spring of metal.
The fact that the Hushamok is a suspended cradle allows us to give it a gentle shove. It will then proceed to gently rock the baby back and forth in a subtle manner for hours.
Many contemporary young couples just adore this bed. For one thing it is really unique looking. It does look like it belongs in a Swedish furniture museum even it is really large. The cribs themselves come in cool colors like electric pink or neon green. .
Furthermore it is approved by the American SIDS Institute because the way it is constructed forces the baby to sleep on its back and discourages the side sleeping that can lead to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. If the baby tries to roll over the cradle starts to rock and prevents the baby from doing so. The result is less worried parents because they realize that their child is not going to suddenly end up on its belly or its side. You also don’t have to worry about the child falling out of the crib either as the suspension on the crib will compensate for the movement of the child and nudge it gently back into the center of the cradle. There is no way this child can actually fall out of the Hushamok!
Wooden baby toys have always been around but there is a new crop of them on the market every year. Here is a rundown of some of my favorite toys that are made out real hardwood. Many of them are available on line.
The Doggie Woggie has always been around. This is that wooden pull toy that has a dog on wheels. It’s paws sometimes rotate and so do its ears. It has a thin cut out body and a tail that ends in a spring. The original Doggie Woggy was made by a company called Empress Arts. It is just the quaintest toy because it reminds me of my own childhood.
Forget about those old wooden blocks with the A B and C on them. Instead you can now get hip little building blocks that are shaped like pieces of designer sushi. The sushi comes in a Bento box just like you would find in a real Japanese restaurant.
If wooden baby blocks are too old for your child then you might want to consider getting small plush ones like the six sold in an appliqué sold by a company called Small Frank Baby.
Do you like baby rattles that harken back to the good old days when everything was made out of hardwood. Then you will love the Baby Heirloom Rattle. This is a very simply constructed rattle that is made by a company called Maple Landmark
The rattle body is basically the shape of a doorknob and the entire rattle is covered with a type of non toxic varnish called the Clear Child Safe Finish. This is so your child can suck and bite on the rattle for free without any side effects.
The actually noise maker part of the rattle looks like a round narrow tubular cage with five bars and inside this cavity there are shiny silver round bells. These bells are small and look like the type of bells that decorate horse reins. The rattle could not be more charming in terms of having that “rustic appeal.” It is very seventies and a bit Swedish in its design as too.
Despite its simple construction this rattle can make a lot of noise. Furthermore it is practically indestructible and is destined to be handed down through generations. It is practically a musical instrument and my kids have been known to fight over it even though they are not infants anymore.
You can buy the wooden Heirloom rattle for only eleven dollars at Made In U.S.A.. This site also sells other classic toys that older kids might also enjoy like the Original Slinky, the Poof Foam Junior Basketball and the original wooden choo choo trains. You can also get the original hardwood baby blocks with the stamped out colored letters on them at this site.
