As implied by my last blog I am now throwing another baby shower for my girlfriend who is expecting in the Spring.   I have sent out some invites and of course I am now being bombarded with calls about what kind of gifts to get her.

As the host or hostess of a baby shower, expect to be plagued by a million questions concerning what to get the expectant mother.

For this reason it is recommended that you set up a gift registry with a local toy, hardware, furniture and/or clothing store. Gift registries can also be set up on some sites on the Internet.

Usually, the expectant mother will directly tell you directly what kind of gifts she we would like or what items she needs to complete her nursery. If the mother is the shy type, you can probably pry a lot of information out of her mother, husband or sisters as to her needs and tastes.

Some people are allergic to things like chocolate and peanuts or react to certain fragrances and perfumes so be sure to ask your expectant mother about that before you start advising others what to buy her.

            Gifts fall into five basic categories:

•           Gifts that pamper mom such as candy and spa products

•           Clothing and products for the care of the baby (such as diapers and soothers)

•           Toys

•           Keepsakes such as picture frames, photo albums and key chain rings

•           Food and alcohol such as bottle of champagne for the happy parents to share after the birth of the baby or a frozen casserole that they can keep in the freezer to enjoy on a busy day

Sometimes the mother-to-be is strapped for cash, in which case you can set up a donation station at the event.

            The following are several fun ways to set up a donation station:

•           A Money Tree – this is a branch or small coniferous tree that is set up near the doorway. As guests leave or come in, they are encouraged to attach paper money to the tree with clothespins.

•           Money Clothesline – a clothesline is strung up in the living room and guests are encouraged to attach paper money so that it dangles like laundry.

•           Diaper pail – the pail is clearly labelled as Mommy Fund and guests are encouraged to step on the pedal and drop money in the bucket.

•           Diaper- the money is collected from guests by an appointed friend and gathered into a diaper, pinned and presented to the mother

•           Money Daisy- Cut a circle of cardboard (with a picture of the mother in the center if you like) and decorate the fringes with dollar bills. Encourage others to make the daisy “bloom”

More discreet methods of collecting money for the expectant mother include:

•           Buying a teddy bear or other stuffed toy that zips up and asking people to stuff it with paper bills

•           Doing the same with a beautiful cushion and calling it the “financial cushion”

•           Collecting the money in an envelope and tucking it under her pillow or in her purse for her to discover later

Of course you can also open a bank account in the mother’s name and then handing her the account book at the end of the party.  Nothing says “I care for you” like cash!

Next spring there is going to be a crop of new human babies so now is the time to start thinking about throwing baby showers. Of course one of the cornerstones of throwing the party is inviting the guests.
Usually it is the person who suggests throwing the baby shower that is responsible for inviting the guests. The mom-to-be and her partner usually suggest the guest list. However, sometimes this job, which involves the mailing of invitations and keeping track of RSVPS, can be delegated to another close friend in your social circle.
It is the responsibility of the person throwing the party to have a conversation with the mother-to-be and decide who is appropriate to invite. Some expectant mothers are a little shy and prefer to be surrounded by a close circle of girlfriends. Other mothers-to-be like a glossy event that almost has a business-like affair.
If the shower is a surprise party then it is perfectly o.k. to phone up her relatives and other close friends and grill them for information about who is on the mother-to-bee’s good side and whose faces she would be most pleased to see at the event.
The written invitation sent through the mail, is considered to be the most gracious and respectful way to invite people to a baby shower. Usually the invitation is an expression of the theme of the party. This type of invitation can include a postage-paid envelope with your address on it as well as RSVP card, or simply your phone number or email address written inside the body of the card. Cards of this type are sold at most stationary stores. Popular stationary colors for invitations include pink (for a girl), blue (for a boy), yellow (for sex unknown) and white.
If you send out invitations by mail it is recommended that you do this at least four weeks before the event to give people a chance to respond.
A more casual, but definitely traditional approach is to simply invite individuals by phone. Hostesses on a budget or busy individuals may prefer this more immediate method. Some individuals may prefer to send out e-vitas. In this case, there are many sites on the internet that provide free pre-designed electronic cards that you can send out en masse to your guest list.
If you have glitter, markers and glue, you can create a homemade card. Homemade cards are considered to be especially heart-felt because of the time and effort put into their creation.
If you decide to make a homemade card, a color Xerox machine is your best friend. This way you can replicate a single card many times over. Cards can also be crafted using drawing programs and PhotoShop on a computer and then printed off as needed.
An easy idea for a homemade card is to acquire a picture of the mom-to-be and hand decorate it with gold and silver marker and glitter. Cards and envelopes can also be hinged and fastened with ribbons, yarn, safety pins and clothespins.

With the recession coming up it is not surprising that so many moms are frustrated. Many of us have unhealthy anger because we are so stressed.
It is your responsibility to handle your anger no matter how unjust the world is being to you.Even a moderate amount of expressed anger is thought to be immature and uncivilized in our society no matter how great the frustration, threat or violation that triggered it. Being calm, in control and turning the other cheek is considered to be most socially acceptable. It is also considered by many to be the right thing to do spiritually.
Unfortunately the consequence of this is usually outbursts of suppressed anger that often takes the form of violent behavior or misdirected anger. This anger that is constantly suppressed by social mores and other conditions leads to persistent negative thoughts, nightmares and even physical conditions like ulcers, headaches and high blood pressure.
Not only is managing your anger essential to maintaining your physical health it is also crucial to your mental health. Bottled up anger can be the battery that keeps a clinical depression ticking for decades. It can be the impulse behind suicide or even passive forms of suicide such as cigarette smoking. Then of course there is that little matter of alienating your kids because you yell at themtoo much.
A long term sustenance of anger can also set up a vicious cycle of anger feeding self-hatred and feeding more anger. Anger turned inward is very self-destructive and often leads to depression. In fact one of the most common definitions of depression is “anger turned inwards.”
There are a lot of vile social consequences to living your life as a chronically angry person. Angry people tentend to grow up believing that if they are hurt or abused, there are merely two options available, which are self-blame and denial of blame. This of course leads to distorted thinking and judgements.
Angry people have one major thing in common. Their personal relationships are often unhappy and seem naturally unlucky. They spend a lot of time cursing others and then are surprised when those curses come home to roost.
Another dangerous side effect of anger is that it can fuel obsessions, phobias and addictions. Obsessions and phobias arise from situations when, for some reason or another, we feel we are either losing control of ourselves or the world around us.
I ask you as a smart group of mommies to check yourself on this type of impulse in the near future. The other unfortunate aspect of unhealthy anger is that it is contagious. One wrong seems to fuel another and before you know it, your life is filled with rage filled individuals responding to your rage. The answer to solving this dilemma is to get this emotion under control and get help if you feel you need it.